I was a Girl Scout. I went to camp. I wore a sash covered with badges. I sold cookies. But I am no longer 12 years old. In one memorable scene from the movie The Addams Family, young Wednesday Addams asks the uniformed adolescent ringing the bell on her front door if the cookies she is selling are made with real Girl Scouts. Well, Wednesday, I would say that yes, in a way they are.

First, some history. Girl Scout cookies got their start in 1922 when a few ambitious Scouts and their moms made sugar cookies for a bake sale. The recipe, below, looked exactly as you would expect. At the first officially organized sale, Scouts sold homemade cookies at the windows of local Philadelphia utility companies. By 1936, 125 troops were working with commercial bakers licensed for the purpose.

Through the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, Girl Scouts experimented with many different recipes. Like McDonalds. In 1978 the National Council standardized packaging and pricing systems and reduced the number of licensed bakeries. In the 1980s, the Girl Scouts’ control of a significant segment of the cookie market led to an agreement with Keebler, a national commercial baker owned by Kellogg’s, along with two other licensed bakeries. Children and elves might certainly be confused, but that’s not why Keebler makes Girl Scout cookies.

Cookie sale awards were instituted in 1998. The cost of the awards is factored into the funds that are returned to each troop.

But my biggest beef with Girl Scout cookies is the ingredient list. Most brands contain at least 3 types of sugar, including sugar, invert sugar, and dextrose. Yes, I know they’re cookies. But let’s call sugar sugar, and remember that home-baked cookies don’t contain invert sugar, dextrose, or corn syrup solids. And why do you suppose all mentions of “enriched flour” include a detailed list of each of the B vitamins added back after the flour was stripped?

At least one type of cookies contains caramel coloring. A recent study published in JAMA demonstrated a positive association between caramel coloring and risk of high blood pressure.

Girl Scout cookies contain trans fat. Pressure to reduce total amounts led to recipe reformulation in 2007, after which trans fat was reduced to 0.5 grams/serving, corresponding to 2 Samoas or 4 thin mints. While this change allowed the Girl Scouts to advertise that the cookies met FDA requirements for “zero trans fat” labeling, remember, dear reader, that there is no safe amount of trans fat. Trans fat causes heart attacks, diabetes, and hypertension, and that’s just the first three on the list. My advice continues to be to avoid any fat invented in the 20th century, as well as any product with the word “hydrogenated” in the ingredient list. If we stop buying it, maybe they will stop making it.

On their official website, Girl Scouts of America justifies the widespread enlistment of children to serve as representatives for commercial baked goods manufacturers by emphasizing that selling builds people skills and confidence, decision making, creative thinking, fair business practice, and, yes, money management. Many activities accomplish a similar purpose.

What else are we teaching? #1 It’s okay to sell (and then eat) large, even very large, amounts of white flour and sugar. #2 You don’t have to learn to make things yourself. #3 It’s okay to let somebody else make large amounts of treats for you to distribute. #4 It’s okay not to know your own way around a kitchen. #5 Eating trans fat is no big deal. #6 It’s okay for moms and dads to take signup sheets to work to increase your total sales, otherwise known as it’s okay to let someone else do the work. #7 It’s okay to do things that you may not personally believe in for financial gain.

In our country, where one-third of current twelve-year-olds are expected to become diabetic, a conversation is finally brewing about whether Girl Scouts should be serving as representatives for the commercial baking industry. Who is going to pay for all the medical care that those diabetics are going to need? It won’t be the processed food industry.

Girl Scouts have sold other things besides cookies. During World War II, shortages of flour, sugar, and butter led Girl Scouts to sell newspapers. In 1943 they sold War Bonds (not for profit). It’s time to start looking at our options.

Girl Scout Cookie Ingredient List, circa 1922

• 1 c butter
• 1 c sugar
• additional sugar for topping (optional)
• 2 eggs
• 2 tbsp milk
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 c flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking powder