Dieting means to restrict, to deny oneself. It is a logical consequence of the assumption that weight problems are due to overindulgence. But there is a big, fat fault line within this assumption, for if it were true, then denial would be an effective and viable option for losing weight. It is not, of course, which is why you have probably noticed that diets almost never work.
People use the term “to lose weight” as if you were the one lowering the number. turning the knob, clicking the button, spinning the dial. But weight loss is not like roulette; and the number on the scale is not something we actually get to pick.
Instead, what you weigh is a reflection. It’s a reflection of the sum total of the choices you make, or that are being made for you. Choices about food (eating patterns), movement (activity patterns), rest and relaxation patterns (hours of sleep, management of the inevitable stresses of life). How about if people started saying that they “reflected” 10 pounds down instead of “lost” 10 pounds? Might that be a helpful strategy? Let’s think about it.
You do have control over lots of things, like whether you choose Cap’n Crunch in the morning, or leftovers from dinner, or a sweet potato with peanut butter. Or whether you wear a pedometer. But you don’t get to decide how much to weigh today. Or any day. Diets don’t work.
Whenever a strategy doesn’t work, it’s time to go back and reexamine the underlying, fundamental assumptions: Is overweight really due to overindulgence? No, it is not. It’s due to malnutrition. Then why do some obese people eat such large portions? And why are they always so hungry? Because they’re starving! The solution to malnutrition is not to diet and deny oneself further, it’s to eat. But not just any old thing that fits in your mouth.
The solution to malnutrition is not denial. Heaven forbid! That would just make things worse. And so it does. The solution to malnutrition is not to eat less. It’s to eat more. But we’re not talking about just any old poor-quality edible item here. I’m referring specifically to eating more of the kinds of food that nourish you.
Eating is a joy, as satisfying as sunrise. Trading backrubs. Listening to music. Talking with friends, or sitting together on a bench at the park. The wind at your back. Dancing. Stretching. A hot shower. A book that takes you to the other side of the universe. Walking along the shore. It’s deeply satisfying. It speaks to your soul. It’s the polar opposite of punishment.
Eating is sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, umami. Crunchy, soft, toothy, smooth, sticky. Beautiful, colorful, warm, cool, icy, bubbly. Expressive, imaginative. Fun, chaotic, quiet, or peaceful.
Want to reflect a lower weight? Fill your soup pot with any of the dozens of recipes on these blog pages. Let it cook all day today. Then enjoy it slowly, slowly, slowly. Taste the ingredients and take in the temperature. Look at the faces of those who share it with you, and feel the satisfaction of having made it yourself. This is what it means to nourish yourself.
Thanks so much for this, Dr. Sukol.
Diets teach us that some foods (like homemade pie) are “bad” and other foods (like kale and lentils) are “good”. The Cleveland Clinic recently tweeted a recommendation from the Wellness Manager of their Wellness Center that unsweetened oatmeal would be a great swap for bacon in the morning. NO! There is no “swap” for bacon – including turkey bacon or those dreadful soy protein “bacon” bits.
I was thinking about pie just last evening. Not just any pie, but my late mother’s pie (specifically her strawberry-rhubarb pie, made with luscious fruit grown in our own garden). My mum’s pie crust was legendary, in a way that people raised with frozen commercial crusts cannot even imagine these days. Her generation prided themselves, in fact, on the skills required to produce a tender, flaky crust worthy of entering in the annual fall fair’s baking contest.
The thing is: I cannot even remember the last time I ate a piece of homemade (or any other sort) of pie. I don’t eat pie because it’s “bad” for me. Too sweet, too fattening, too many bad ingredients, too many calories, too delicious… It’s deprivation all right…
regards,
C.
Beautifully said — thank you so much for sharing this memory. Write back when you taste that pie next, and say what it was like. RBS
I agree with what you wrote. I have always said that with diets one goes on a diet then goes off a diet and regains whatever was lost on the diet. I love butter, bacon, lard, chocolate and incorporate all the “bad” foods in my cooking every day.
Thanks for your note. There’s certainly a lot of controversy about this issue, but I would say that chocolate is not one of the controversial ones! I recommend 1-1.5 ounces daily for everyone who likes it — I tell patients that it’s not candy, it’s food. RBS