Today is my mother’s birthday, the first since she passed away almost a year ago. In just a few weeks, we will observe her first yahrtzeit, the first anniversary of her passing. So much has happened this year, and we have all struggled mightily to find our way. When I think about telling her everything that has happened, it feels more like a dystopian novel than the truth. But it’s not all bad. Even though the past few months of winter have been particularly challenging, I am looking forward to returning once more to spending loads of time outdoors. And in view of the rising rates of vaccination, I am certain that next winter will be much better. Yesterday afternoon I sat outside in the sun for an hour with my husband, son-in-law, and daughter even though the temperature was only in the 20’s here in Cleveland. It was freezing, but that did not stop us from enjoying a plate of chocolates — handmade by my son’s friend in Jerusalem — and a bottle of Pavo Real wine, whose label displays a beautiful peacock feather. Mom really loved her peacocks, and her house was filled with their feathers. She would have loved that.

A few months ago, when we were heading into the dark days of the dreaded winter, I sat down and came up with a list of “2020 takeaways” for which I was grateful. Always the optimist, it is in my nature to look for the good, even where it’s harder to find. So here, in honor of my mother’s birthday, are some of the good things that happened this past year.

.We spent long, endless days out on the back patio with my newly widowed, then 87-year-old father.

.My colleagues at work all became comfortable with virtual appointments, and identified an entirely new way to meet patients’ needs.

.We learned more about people, their homes, and their worlds. Also the views from inside their homes.

.I reclaimed my music and posted some of my favorite songs on twitter.

.I spent more time outdoors from April through November last year than since I was a kid.

.I spent time on line with many out-of-town friends on a regular basis, including a close friend from medical school who lives in Brisbane, Australia. I can’t imagine why it took a pandemic for us to realize we could do this.

.I heard members of the Cleveland Orchestra play at Mitchell’s Ice Cream. On line.

.Thanks to COVID, many friends and family, myself included, were able to attend the PhD dissertation defense of my son-in-law’s brother in Phoenix, Arizona. I would never have thought about this possibility in a regular year, but it was so great.

.We scheduled weekly Sunday Zoom meetings with our extended family, participants logging in from the West Coast to Montana to New England to the Middle East and more. 

.We found a way to celebrate Thanksgiving together on line all day last fall, from an early morning turkey trot, to a late morning family check-in, to dinner in the late afternoon.

.I made a ton of new friends among my neighbors on the Lane. We scheduled regular movie nights on Al’s driveway, late afternoon soirees on the cul-de-sac, a chalk-drawing party, and a lot of vegetable exchanges. Masked and socially distanced.

.I learned that masks make you warmer in the winter. Also of note, I did not catch a single cold this past year.

.Unlike in the many decades of years past, we were home every single night of Chanukah 2020 to light candles and sit together the whole time they burned down. In the years to come, this is going to be a priority.

.Despite everything, I feel grateful for the feeling of gratitude.