Joy has been in the news lately, and that’s what I want to talk about today. 

Eating is meant to be a source of joy, as satisfying as the sunrise. Like listening to music. Talking with friends, or sitting together on a bench at the park. The wind at your back. Trading backrubs. Dancing. Stretching. A hot shower. A book that transports you to the other side of the universe. Walking along the shore. 

Eating is deeply satisfying. It speaks to your soul. Eating is sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, umami. Crunchy, soft, toothy, smooth, sticky. Beautiful, colorful, warm, cool, icy, bubbly. Expressive, imaginative. Fun, chaotic, quiet, or peaceful.

It is the opposite of discomfort, misery, dieting. To diet is to restrict oneself, to deny oneself pleasure. That sounds miserable. No wonder diets don’t work. Why would I make a choice to do something that makes me feel bad? 

Dieting is a logical consequence of the assumption that overweight is is due to overindulgence. But there is a large fault within this assumption: If it were indeed true that overindulgence were the primary cause of overweight, then denial would be an effective and viable option for losing weight. But of course it is not, which is why you have probably noticed that diets virtually never work.

People use the term “to lose weight” as if they themselves were the ones lowering the number, turning the knob, clicking the button, spinning the dial. But weight loss is not like roulette; and the number on the scale is not something you actually get to choose.

Instead, what you weigh is a reflection. It’s a reflection of the sum total of choices you make, or that are being made for you. Choices about food (eating patterns), movement (activity patterns), bedtime, managing stress (rest and relaxation patterns). 

What would it be like if people started saying that they reflected 150 pounds instead of weighed 150 pounds? Let’s think about that.

In fact, you have control over all kinds of things, like whether your breakfast consists of a bowl of Cap’n Crunch Candy or last night’s leftovers or a sweet potato with peanut butter. Or whether you wear a pedometer. But you don’t get to decide how much you weigh today. Or any day.

Whenever a strategy doesn’t work to achieve its intended outcome, that usually means it’s time to reexamine the underlying, fundamental assumptions. The question is this: Is overweight really due to overindulgence? And the answer is no, it is not. Obesity is a multi-factorial problem with a number of related causes. One major cause is malnutrition. 

When you improve the nutritional value of the food you eat, your clothes will start to fit better. Why do some obese people eat such large portions, then? And why are they complaining of incessant hunger? The solution to malnutrition is not denial. To deny oneself further is what diets do. That just makes things worse.

The solution to malnutrition is not to eat less. The solution is to eat more — more of the kinds of food that really nourish you. Ultraprocessed items do not nourish you; they entertain you. But they leave you starved for nutrition. The solution, therefore, is to eat. But not just any old thing that fits in your mouth. 

Want to reflect a lower weight? Fill your soup pot with any of the dozens of recipes in this blog. Set it on a low heat, and let it cook all day. Then enjoy it slowly … slowly. Taste the ingredients and take in the temperature. Blow on the spoonful you are sharing with the toddler at your table. Look at the faces of the others with whom you share it, and feel the satisfaction of having made it yourself. This is what it means to nourish yourself.