Self Care is Being Kind to Yourself, plus Lentil-Vegetable Soup

I spent my days as a practicing physician teaching people to be kinder to themselves, and that kindness manifested itself in three spheres: 1) eating patterns, 2) activity patterns, and 3) rest & relaxation patterns. The goal is to make small, incremental changes that result in nourishing your heart and soul with better food, more movement, and quality rest and relaxation. 

Why do Americans feel as if we must make an excuse for going to bed early, or taking vacation time that we have already earned, or needing to take a walk? I can’t count the number of times I have heard people make fun of themselves for choosing to order a salad. These attitudes, supported (unfortunately) by all kinds of complex societal influences, made my job even more important.

A good life is filled with nourishing food and rest. A peaceful life might include walking, gardening, yoga or swimming. Research shows that time spent out of doors, around trees, is powerful medicine. That’s not surprising to me; I spent a good part of my early adolescence playing in a 600-acre wooded property across the street from my house. 

With regard to our eating patterns, my experience has shown me that most folks think they are doing a more or less reasonable job of feeding themselves and their family, especially if children are involved. 

That makes sense to me, because no one would want to believe that their family is eating a mediocre diet on their watch. We all hope that we are taking good care of ourselves and our families. But how would you know, really?

Do you eat white flour or corn syrup or corn starch or sugar more than once or twice a day? Most people do, because this is where you find breakfast cereals, ketchup, barbecue sauce, commercial salad dressings, bagels, rolls, croutons, muffins, doughnuts, waffles, pancakes, white bread, cookies, cakes, and most other commercial baked goods. If you’re like most of us, meaning that you eat a significant number of meals or snacks outside of your home on a weekly basis, it’s virtually impossible to avoid these stripped carbohydrates and the ultra processed fats that usually come with them. They are everywhere: in every vending machine, every coffee shop, every chain restaurant. 

What about soybean, corn, or cottonseed oil? Non-dairy creamers, Crisco, or margarine? These oils are rampant in America’s ultraprocessed products. All the edible varieties of these industrial fats were invented within the past one hundred years, all are pro-inflammatory, and all have been implicated in the current epidemic of autoimmune disease. Because they are so much cheaper than nutritious fats and oils, they too are virtually impossible to avoid when you eat out. On the first Thursday in December, my 2 and 3 year old grandbabies had an unexpected snow day and I looked after them through lunchtime. They enjoyed pancakes made from 100% whole oat flour, salmon patties (made by their grandfather the previous night from leftover salmon, hemp seed hearts, and mayo), strawberries, and milk. I put out little cups of real maple syrup, raspberry jam, and peanut butter for dipping their pancakes. They ate happily and heartily.

The goal is not simply to FEED yourself; the purpose of food is to NOURISH you. Eat color. Plenty of fruits and vegetables, and beans of all shapes, colors and sizes. This morning I chopped 1 onion, 2 stalks of celery, 2 carrots (peeled), and 1 parsnip (peeled) into a soup pot containing a tablespoon of olive oil. Once they were browning I added a quart of vegetable stock and 2 cups of water, plus 1/2 cup of quinoa and 2/3 cup of red lentils. Then I added 2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. black pepper, 1 tsp. turmeric, 1 tsp. garlic powder, and 1 tsp. cumin. I covered it, left it to cook on low heat for 1 hour, turned it off, and left it on the stove to blend all the flavors. Later today I’ll heat it up again and serve it with dinner. 

Don’t allow foods made from stripped grains (white flour, corn starch) to constitute more than a small proportion of your meals. These things don’t nourish us, they entertain us. Fun is fine, but it isn’t food. Nourishing yourself is a very kind thing to do. Food is energy, which you convert into many important things, including thinking, dreaming, and moving. 

The human body was designed to move; a body that doesn’t move pays a very high price in the long run. I will pay any price to keep myself mobile.

Please remember that you are not training for the Olympics. Be gentle. I don’t want you to overdo it. It would be terrible to injure yourself, and then spend three months healing on the couch. So go for a short walk a few times a week if you can manage that. Stretch your neck in the shower, or a couple times a day while your eyes take a break from the computer screen. Play airplane or rocket ship with your babies while they are still small, because you can be sure they won’t be that size for long. Ride bikes, or do a little yoga. Brush your teeth on one foot. Movement is a powerful mood stabilizer, and there’s nothing quite like the satisfying fatigue of a gently tired body to aid a good night’s sleep.

Do you awaken every morning feeling refreshed and relaxed? Do you fall back to sleep easily if you wake up in the middle of the night? Some people like more, and some like less, but when it comes to the inevitable stresses that come every day, are you riding the waves, or are they beating you up? Every brain needs down time, a few minutes of peace and quiet. No brain thrives if it spends every single minute on the hamster wheel, spinning around and around without rest. Take a deep, slow breath. Then take another one. 

These are some of the kinder things you can do for yourself. Nourish yourself. Breathe in and out, eat more colors, take a spin. Your body will thank you.


YOUR HEALTHY PLATE: Mushroom Potato Stew (gf, vegan)

A dear friend of mine, a great cook, recommended this recipe to me a couple of weeks ago. She made it, her daughter made it, and now I’ve made it. A triple play! It was not originally gluten free, but I made it gluten-free by substituting tamari and oat flour for the soy sauce and wheat flour in the prior version. Easy peasy. 

Try serving this with a plate of sliced oranges, maybe sprinkled with a few berries. Nothing specific, just use whatever you can find in the fridge.  Continue reading


YOUR HEALTHY PLATE: Salmon Soup

I posted this recipe once a long time ago, but it’s such an elegant recipe that I wanted to share it again for all my readers who had not yet seen it. Not only is it a warm and beautiful color, perfect for the cold weather, but it is also a wonderful addition to the menu for friends whose celebrations include the custom of eating many different kinds of fish on Christmas Eve. Continue reading


First Trimester Ideas for My New Friend at Verizon

This week at the Verizon store I got a new phone and made a new friend. She was endlessly patient and kind through four interminable visits over the course of two weeks, and I appreciated her even more once I learned that she was also in the process of struggling through her first trimester.  When she told me that she’d been having a hard time figuring out what to eat that she could keep down, I promised to write a post about nourishing foods that would — hopefully — include something easy to digest. So here we go. Continue reading


YOUR HEALTHY PLATE: The Season for Cholent (Crockpot Stew, vegan/GF)

This weekend I made our first cholent of the season for Sukkot, the fall harvest festival. We ate it inside our beautiful sukkah, built mostly by my husband, but this year with the help —for the first time — of our very young grandchildren. Cholent warms you from the inside out in chilly weather, and then, just little while later, it is gone.

I have made cholent (a crockpot stew traditionally served on holidays and Shabbat) a thousand times or more in my life, and no two versions have ever come out exactly the same. But, like riding a bike, there is a rhythm to the recipe, and once you get the rhythm, it belongs to you for the rest of your life. Continue reading


YOUR HEALTHY PLATE: October Soup

I was looking back through old posts, and discovered this one from 2011, eleven years and almost 1000 posts ago. Though I do not remember who gave me this recipe, I do know that it came from someone I was working with at the time.*

I arrived home from work one particular evening to find my daughter frying onions, and I asked her what’s for dinner. “I don’t know,” she said, “this is as far as I’ve gotten.” Her amusing reply put me in mind of a guy named Jeff whom I had met many years prior. He became famous in our family, and remains there to this day, because of something he used to say: “First I fry the onions and garlic, and then I decide what to make for dinner.” And that is what my daughter was doing. Continue reading