A few words today on the “rest and relaxation” pillar, encouraging you to be mindful, to care for yourself, to be kind to yourself, and to help yourself remain centered, especially in the spinning vortex of ceaseless activity that continues to characterize recent weeks of change and chaos.
My word of the year is mindfulness. It’s the exact opposite of multi-tasking, which is not at all what it sounds like. To multi-task is not to get a whole bunch of different things done all at once, but rather to switch your attention incessantly from one project to another, giving none your full consideration. To multi-task is to invest heavily in attention-switching at the expense of your focus and goals. All told, it is a supreme waste of your precious energy.
What, then, is the solution for multi-tasking, not to mention the frazzled nerves and inability to focus in which multi-tasking results? The overarching solution to multi-tasking is mindfulness. Mindfulness can take the form of meditation, yoga, stretching, walking, knitting, cooking, massage, practicing the piano, praying, petting a dog, or playing with a child. The essential character of mindfulness is to apply oneself completely to the task at hand, minimizing interference from random distracting thoughts. Mindfulness is a kind of self-care that connects you with your inner self. It refocuses your energy to help you understand what your body needs. It’s a key that connects you with yourself, and allows the rest to fall into place like a puzzle.
Mindfulness guides you to be comfortable in your own skin. It accepts you. It connects with you. It supports you. Why else would you give yourself this kind of time, uninterrupted even by pet worries, concerns, and random thoughts?
A few years ago, I watched a professional colleague show a remarkably memorable video presentation. The tape began with a man stepping into a cab. Background music was playing. Hard, loud, angry music. Every intersection, every movement of every individual on the street, was colored by the music. A random passerby’s raised arms looked threatening. A policeman was shouting at someone, was it a child? Worried, distracted people were hurrying to their destinations. More disturbing, ambivalent images, fading finally. Then the scene returned to the very beginning.
The identical videotape played again, but with one significant difference: This time, when the man stepped into the cab to begin the video, the soundtrack played gentle, melodic music. Now, the random passerby with raised arms seemed to be conducting music. The policeman was calling a greeting to a child. The pedestrians looked focused, but no longer frightened. Once again, we watched to the end of the video.
And the presenter said this: “You see the world through how you feel.” Let’s take a moment to think about that. His point was that it is not frustrating experiences that make your world a more frustrating place. It is your response to those frustrating experiences. Frustration is a given; attitude is a choice.
Mindfulness is a deep form of respect, the place where “Expect respect” and “Be the change” intersect. When you give yourself time to think and breathe, you are giving yourself space to experience a message: “I treat myself to the best of me. I am worthy.” And, indeed, you are worthy.