I presented two talks at a conference on Preventive Medicine in Las Vegas this past week, and awoke the first morning to discover that my black tights had not made it into the suitcase. This did not jive with my plans to present myself as a tights-wearing professional. Ugh. So I left my room soon after 6 am in search of a new pair of black tights.

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The first place I stopped was at the sundry store at the hotel. Two friendly women directed me to the pantyhose, and I was delighted to see a large display of stockings in all the usual colors.  

Now many of my readers know me, but more don’t. So here’s what you need to know about me: I am small. Really quite small. Think of me as the Dr. Ruth of Food. If I stand up very, very straight I can claim that I am just about 5 feet tall. Most of my clothing is size 4 or 6. I hope you’re getting the picture.

Back in the store, I began of course to scan the stockings for a pair of Size A black stockings. To no avail. To my relative horror, there were no A size stockings at all. Just B and Q. I am obiously not a Q, and B is a long shot. I turned back to the two friendly women, a feeling of panic beginning to rise in the back of my throat, and asked whether I might be mising the size A stockings. They recommended I try the Walgreens across the way, and I ran out of the store.

But there were no size A black stockings in the large display at Walgreens either. Well, that’s not exactly true: There were two pairs of small-sized “nude” stockings on the bottom shelf. I didn’t want nude; I was looking for black stockings. 

America, WAKE UP!! As I hope you have already surmised, this post isn’t really about stockings. Is it really okay with you that Americans are growing so large that stores no longer see the need to carry small-sized stockings? Is it REALLY OKAY with you? Because this isn’t about stockings. This is about obesity, about arthritis, hypertension, gout, heart disease, and that greatest scourge of all, diabetes. Because if there is no need for size A stockings at Walgreens, then we’d better be prepared to spend a lot of money on medicines, on bypass operations, on dialysis, and on nursing home care for stroke patients. We’d better get ready to spend our days as caregivers to parents with dementia brought on by long years of poor nutrition and lack of exercise.  

Is it really okay with you? It’s not okay with me.

P.S. I left Walgreens with a pair of B-sized stockings, which bagged slightly around my ankles, and was later rescued by the A-sized-black-stocking-bearing daughter of a business colleague, who had found them at a local outlet.

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