Some time ago, Gene the computer guy showed up at my office for the first time in a while. Right away, I knew something had changed. I said, “Gene, how are you? You’re looking very well!” He responded with an uncharacteristic grin, and answered by telling me one thing all of us know, but few believe (despite numerous confirmatory personal experiences!). I sat up fast when he said, “Diets don’t work.”

He motioned to a small machine on his belt that I had noticed only peripherally, assuming it was a cell phone, or pager, or maybe even an insulin pump. It was his pedometer. He said that he had started slowly. In the beginning, his goal had been to get 10,000 steps every single day, but he had been satisfied with less, say 8,000 steps per day. That was then. Now he was walking between 10,000 and 20,000 steps a day, and he said that if he had time, and felt like going a little further, he was walking even more. His pants had gotten loose, and he had taken in his belt a notch.

Change begets change, and health begets health. It wasn’t long before Gene realized that the fast food lunches he had eaten for years were not part of this new program. He decided to try eating a bag of nuts instead and discovered, to his amazement, that it satisfied his hunger. He took in his belt two more notches.

Tip O’Neill, the longtime Speaker of the House of Representatives in Washington, D.C., while I was growing up, once said that “All politics is local.”  He meant that members of Congress bring the concerns of their hometowns to their offices in the Capitol. The issues that affect themselves, their families, and their constituents most deeply are the ones they consider most important.

In a similar way, I would say that all nutrition is personal. One size never fits all. I should know: I’m barely 5 feet tall, and “one size fits all” never fits me! Some of us enjoy the taste of cilantro; others truly despise it. Some people at the gym carry their water in gallon jugs, while others carry small bottles or none at all. Some people thrive on a vegan diet, while some are unable to manage their weight unless they cut their stripped carb intake to just about nil. 

The same goes for exercise. It’s not just about food. If you live close to a track, or in a safe neighborhood with sidewalks in good repair, and you enjoy walking, then you may be wondering, just about now, where to buy a pedometer. If your knees give you the blues, and you have always loved being in the water, maybe there’s a neighborhood pool nearby. Or maybe you like the idea of checking out some online yoga or tai chi. The point is to do what appeals to you. It’s to work with, not against, your own inclinations. You can’t fight City Hall. At least not for long.

What is the secret to Gene’s success? The main thing is that he is not trying to make change based on “a diet.” He understands that diets don’t work. A system built on deprivation will never provide a basis for constructive change. Also, Gene figured out which aspects of his lifestyle were most problematic, and he fixed just those. Just one step at a time. Literally. And just one meal at a time. Small changes.

Gene increased his activity in a way that was pleasurable to him. Then he removed a major source of stripped carbohydrate and ultraprocessed, manufactured fats in the form of his fast food habit. Finally, he stopped drinking soda. And that did it. He continued to feel better and better as he let these changes settle in for the long haul. He didn’t stop eating all stripped carbs. He didn’t say that he will never again drink a soda. He just decided that he will no longer be doing it every day. And what keeps him going? The fact that he feels so much better. And his son.

My patients often tell me that the changes they make for themselves go on to be reflected in their entire families. Gene said that he now gives his 6-year-old son only water or milk to drink. He says, “If you don’t want water, you’re not thirsty. If you want something sweet, eat a banana. If you’re really thirsty, you’ll drink water.” He has a great point here, and one I intend to share around. But plenty of patients complain that they don’t like to drink water.  

In my humble opinion, this is a learned response, and, therefore, one that can be unlearned. I advise diluting drinks — first a bit, then by ½, then ¼, then 1/8, and so on, until they no longer need the sweet stuff. Small changes, always. Gene is right. If we’re really thirsty, water is fine, even desirable. And if you find that a small splash of orange juice in your glass of water makes a difference to you, then that’s okay, too. It’s way less than 12 ounces of juice or more every day.

Change is reflected first in the way we think about it, whatever it is, and then in the way we go about it. Change occurs first in our minds, and then in our bodies. As our conversation came to an end, I was a little surprised to hear Gene said, “I still have a long way to go.” I guess he means how far he intends to walk. Mentally, I would say, he’s already there.