Gratitude and Wisdom

When I was eleven years old, my parents, always “early adopters” of the latest technology long before this kind of thing had a name, bought a brand new stove with a smooth white ceramic top. It was called a Corning Cooktop, and its most memorable feature, at least to me, was that its elements remained white even when they were hot enough to boil water. Was it really that hot? You had to take it on faith — or not. No matter how long I stared at it, I could not convince myself that the white ceramic stovetop was hot. And that is why I still remember, all these many years later, the perfectly oval burn on the tip of my right index finger. I only touched that hot stove once, but that was all it took. I did not cry, even though it hurt a lot. I just stared and stared. I could not take anyone else’s word for it; I needed to see for myself. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even tell anyone in my family. I just needed to know. Continue reading


Self-Care Resolutions

Late last year I had an interview with a major news network on the topic of New Years’ Resolutions. I decided not to talk about the popular though self-defeating goals that are nearly impossible to sustain and end up making people feel badly about themselves and their efforts. I didn’t discuss limiting calories, denying yourself things that bring you joy, joining a gym, or signing up for a yoga class. Instead I decided to talk about being kind to yourself.  Continue reading


Small Steps

Some time ago, Gene the computer guy showed up at my office for the first time in a while. Right away, I knew something had changed. I said, “Gene, how are you? You’re looking very well!” He responded with an uncharacteristic grin, and answered by telling me one thing all of us know, but few believe (despite numerous confirmatory personal experiences!). I sat up fast when he said, “Diets don’t work.” Continue reading


Baby Steps

This week i had a conversation with a patient, a math tutor, about the difficulty she was having measuring up to her impossibly difficult personal standard. Why “impossibly” difficult? Because I’m sure that she was doing the best she could. And to ask more of herself, at least right now, was impossible. Continue reading