Breakfast cereals, generally speaking, are not particularly nourishing, although they do have a praiseworthy origin. They were invented near the turn of the 20th century by health spa owners offering an alternative to the eggs, coffee, and beef, bacon or sausage that constituted the usual breakfast of the time.

Not coincidentally, the invention of breakfast cereal also provided an economical use for the crumbs that fell to the bottom of the bread ovens at the health spas. The word “cereal” itself is a synonym for “grain,” and it is derived from Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture. We have strayed a long way from that origin.

The first mass-produced cereal, granula, was similar to what is today known as Grape–nuts. The name ‘granula’ was derived from “granules” or “grains.” Granula nuggets were so hard that they needed to be soaked overnight prior to being eaten. The name grape-nuts is derived from the fact that the cereal was sweetened with maltose, known at the time as grape sugar, and with a vaguely nutty flavor. For a few decades, several whole-grain cereals similar to Grape-nuts constituted the main options for the consumer in search of breakfast cereal. 

Things changed rapidly after World War II, when breakfast cereal companies hired advertising agencies, expanded their vision, and began specifically to target children. Cereals evolved into a completely different kind of product. To appeal to children’s taste buds, new breakfast cereals were made almost entirely of stripped carbs, namely sugar and white flour, which has been stripped of its bran and germ. The products contained staggering amounts of sugar. Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks, created in 1953, was 56 per cent sugar by weight. Froot Loops was 41 percent sugar by weight. There are brands of cookies with less sugar than that.

Breakfast cereals are what economic analysts call a high margin-to-cost business. Gross profit margins in the breakfast cereal industry are on the order of 40-45 percent. High penetration means that breakfast cereal products of one kind or another are found in an estimated 90 percent of American homes. JP Morgan estimates that marketing, one of cereal’s biggest costs, typically accounts for 20-25 percent of the sales value.

Breakfast cereals are one of a select group of products that layer different kinds of sweeteners in and among their lists of ingredients. David Kessler, in The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, explains that “If a food contains more sugar than any other ingredient, federal regulations dictate that sugar be listed first on the label. But if a food contains several different kinds of sweeteners, they can be listed separately, which pushes each one farther down the list.”

This requirement yields an ingredient list that only appears to have less sugar than actually exists in the product. Kessler says that “Cereals often include some combination of sugar, brown sugar, fructose, high-fructose corn syrup, honey,and molasses.” The curious thing, to me, is that the offerings at the supermarket don’t really fool the consumer. People know that most breakfast cereals are an iffy substitute for a nutritious breakfast. Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons’ Krusty the Clown, and even the Berenstain Bears, all icons of popular culture, remind us exactly what breakfast cereal is.

Calvin eats Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, “tasty, lip-smacking, crunchy-on-the-outside, chewy-on-the-inside [that] don’t have a single natural ingredient or essential vitamin to get in the way of that rich, fudgy taste.” Hobbes says they make his heart skip like “eating a bowl of milk duds.” Krusty the Clown, from the Simpsons, endorses Chocolate Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes with: “Only sugar has more sugar.” Frosted Krusty-O’s were actually sold in 2007 to promote The Simpson’s Movie. Other cereals featured on The Simpsons included “Frosting Gobs” and “Count Fudgula,” a reference to Count Chocula cereal. “Coco Chums” cereal is mentioned in the Berenstain Bears book Too Much Junk Food.  

You may as well eat candy bars for breakfast. Next week I’m going to talk about what I choose to eat for breakfast.